@toastymoe: If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?
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@2tickytacky: He told her that trees blossom in her presence. What he meant was that she scares the sap back up into them.
@LaceyNycole: 2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly.