@toastymoe: If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?
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@brennadine: It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.
@TinaraMinus10: A handsome man came up to me today & said "Hi what's your name?" I said "You on Twitter?" He said "No" We're getting married on Monday!
@TheBeerGuy73: ...and then the whiskey whispered "You should totally tell her about what your ex used to do to you in bed."