@toastymoe: If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?
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@Irish_Dinosaur: "you should be more serious, sir. this is arson." "no this is MY son!" *tousles his hair* "ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn"
@GrrrRach: If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
@tigersgoroooar: just saw a church sign that says, “santa claus never died for anyone.” and i’m like, “okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse.”
@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn