@EJGomez: guy: my dog just died
girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog
@Jarhead44: My dog sure acts tough for an animal whose natural habitat is on the couch under his blankie.
@mortimermaiden: Me: I need one of those thingamajigs.
Receptionist: What?
Me: You know a doohickey.
Receptionist: This is a—
Me: *snaps fingers* Ah! a triple bypass heart surgery.
@hoops_Daddy: Kid 1 swallows coin= rush to ER
Kid 2 swallows coin= wait til it passes
Kid 3 swallows coin= deduct from allowance.
@garrydavenport: The "eye for an eye" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops.
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