@girl_a_whirl: If by free thinker you mean nobody has given me a penny for my thoughts then yeah, I'm a free thinker.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Old high school classmate: Really? You're about to have your 4th child? Me: Are you surprised I like kids? Him: I'm surprised you had sex.
@slimmy_shady: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?