@SondraDeeMe: If by high maintenance you mean she looks like a stoned janitor, then yeah, she's high maintenance.
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@UNTRESOR: Health level: my credit card company called me about fraud because I bought a vegetable.
@jergarl: Me: OMG I'm so tired. Ambien: Your wife would look AMAZING covered in mustard and chocolate chips. Me: I'm on it. A: And Cheetos. M: K.
@SadPeruna: If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons.
@splendidcynic: Establish dominance at the dentist by hitting them with a rock and asking if THAT is comfortable.