@MomOfTeen: If by "junk in the trunk" you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.
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@Reverend_Scott: Have you decided on dinner? "Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled." Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY
@ilovepie84: The best way to see if someone is telling the truth is to tie them to a chair and start up the ol chainsaw.
@TheCatWhisprer: On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up.
@Jam453Lane: When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house.