@MomOfTeen: If by "junk in the trunk" you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.
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@Sarcasticsapien: The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time.
@KentWGraham: Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig’s List just a week after we updated our life insurance?
@david8hughes: [phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit
@AndyAsAdjective: "any ideas?" let's tie a bunch of helium balloons together & then hold onto the strings "whoa whoa whoa, let's not get carried away"