@garrettbarry70: If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician.
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@murrman5: use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail
@heathesauruss: Am I supposed to know my own blood type? I don't even know what types of blood there are
@PissingLaughter: Fake moms- 'I never want to be away from my children' Real moms- 'You drop that pizza, I'll put you up for adoption'
@VikeeysSecret: Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors.