@garrettbarry70: If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician.
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@DanKCharnley: Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son. "Sir this is Urban Outfitters" Do you have any 'baes'? "Please leave"
@evanrhorne: I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited.
@One_FineMess: A cig takes 7 minutes off your life A piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life According to my calculations I should have died in 1812
@jdforshort: Your smell is so intoxicating Your skin so soft and warm I can't wait to eat you up ~Mosquitos