@Quartzjixler: If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist.
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@ojedge: Lambs: "BAAAAAAAAA!!!" Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhhhh!" Lambs: "Baaaa!" Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhh…" Lambs: "…" Hannibal Lecter: "Much better."
@ericsshadow: [on a business trip to South Carolina] Nice to meet you. I'm from Philadelphia. "Welcome to the United States."
@Ygrene: [Being murdered while eating a salad] Please sir will you stab the spinach out of my teeth don't let them find me like this