@GermanFreckles: If by raw food you mean cookie dough, then yes, I love raw food.
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@Mindless4Miles: Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum.
@DancesWithTamis: I'm so bad at making decisions that whenever I hit a yellow light I scream, open my car door and throw myself out
@huntigula: ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business
@JennyJohnsonHi5: "FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..." - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school