@sips_whiskey: If by speaking Spanish you mean speaking in English but slower and louder, then yes, I speak Spanish.
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@drunkNnaughty: I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
@therealeatwood: [Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we “synchronize our cycles.”
@BlondieBGbb: Just read "four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter.
@ArfMeasures: [Tim Burton tries baseball] COACH [rubs eyes]Got it now T: Yes C: Ok. Pitch T: A dark haunted tale starring Johnny De- C: I'm gonna kill him