@SadPeruna: If by 'the Hamptons' you mean 'my pajamas', then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons.
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@RandiLawson: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at gym] *spends 45 minutes untangling headphones *drops phone, squats to pick it up Phew! Good workout! *leaves
@BadJordon: Autocorrect just changed 'so thirsty' to 'sloth irate' and I'm slowly getting angry about it.
@KeetPotato: [me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: "how did we both fit in this lmao"