@Rachelnoise: If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish.
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@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
@k_lli: A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work.
@mommywhitfield: *Toddler walks up, kisses my knee, turns away* "Aw! Aren't you sweet?" *Toddler kisses refrigerator, cabinet door and dishwasher* "Oh."
@VaguelyFunnyDan: Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he's a centaur with spiders for lips