@SamGrittner: If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in.
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@noog: God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good
@noog: If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity.
@sixthformpoet: 1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments
@lisaxy424: [in bed] Me: got a costume from the Princess Leia slave scene Him: omg yes Me: *disappears to change* *comes back dressed as Jabba the Hutt*