@sixthformpoet: If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never ageing is wearing the same clothes every day.
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@gorrdano: I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead.
@Calliejacobson: So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious.
@causticbob: I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble
@t0shiba: Sometimes I type a 'C' when I meant to type an 'A'. And now I have to apologize to my 'Aunt'