@internetluke: If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said "sorry to Bale on you" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShesARealGenius: WIFE: I wish you would drop this stupid genie act HUSBAND: honey I already told you, you're out of wishes
@uncle_fescue: Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?
@yungshoelace: i just saw a black girl rt one of those teenage girl accounts saying "i honestly wish I was a teen in the 50's".......... no u don't
@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"