@internetluke: If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said "sorry to Bale on you" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest.
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@murrman5: is your name melissa? "yes" are you married? "to you sadly" yes or no please "yes" do you like the lie detector I bought for your birthday?
@BCMontgo: Sir, you can't walk up to the drive through window. [45 minutes later] *gallops up to window on stick horse*
@NicestHippo: "So did you get lucky last night?" You better believe it! [flashback to me making all green lights omw home after girl refused to kiss me]
@wickedblondeone: Some days, I wish I had a button to restore myself to my original factory settings