@timdonakowski: If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in their recipe.
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@ThaJawn: Phill: *gets stung by a stingray Me: *pees on his wound Phill: That only works on jellyfish stings Me: Oh shit, I thought you were dead!
@Bownuggets: DATING TIP: Be a gentleman. Hold her door. Hold her hand. Hold her purse. Hold her for ransom. Demand a chopper. Fly away. Start a new life.
@crylenol: That ends your training. You're now a GameStop employee. Any questions? "What do I do if a girl comes in" Err *boss scrambles thru manual*
@BallsMcBallski: The seventh rule of Fight Club is no one leaves until ALL the chairs are put away.