@timdonakowski: If Coca-Cola really cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in.
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@ch000ch: therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u
@jakob_huber: Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
@moose_chocolate: I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my tweets, like William, Shatner.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: You put the "cow" in "coworker" Her: Excuse me?? Me: It's a joke format. Her: I'm telling HR.. Me: Ok but I doubt they'll get it either.