@dumbbeezie: If commercials want people to look at them they should all start with the sound of a phone vibrating
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MatCro: [first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end.
@robfee: Dang girl are you Die Hard on TBS because it looks like all the good parts are missing.
@UnfilteredMama: My greatest accomplishment as a parent has been convincing my kids that Chuck E Cheese closes for “flu season.”