@kangel76: If "Cops" has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they're nothing but trouble...
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@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.
@trentistweeting: [interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal "That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!" *turns to whiteboard* welcome
@Cheeseboy22: New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"