@kangel76: If "Cops" has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they're nothing but trouble...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: "My first wife didn't have a gag reflex" Wow that's amazing "Yeah she never laughed at any of my jokes"
@AmnesiaRose: *knocks over the 17 Starbucks cups on her nightstand *answers her alarm clock, "hello?"
@dyldonot: [first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]
@MomOfTeen: If by "junk in the trunk" you mean the untouched gym bag I store there, then yes, I most certainly have junk in my trunk.