@Thynebear: If cops used t-shirt guns instead of handguns they wouldn't even need to tell criminals to put their hands up.
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@Sir_Strange: *goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work.
@thepunningman: Remember, you are statistically more likely to be killed by a donkey than a plane crash. [Donkey Pilot turns and does throat slit gesture]
@bingowings14: Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea.