@_definitlymaybe: If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!
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@ceejoyner: Why don't you get back in your little car with lights and pull over someone who cares.
@Brampersandon_: ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary
@Michael1979: VERY ANNOYED. My enemy keeps playing Hulk Hogan's theme song b4 I enter rooms. People then expect Hulk Hogan & are disappointed when it's me
@MondayPajamas: Her: I think my IUD came loose and is floating around in there Me: C'mere, I drop my guitar pick in the sound hole all the time, no problem