@_definitlymaybe: If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!
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@Courtniss_: There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.
@UpDocInc: I have twin brothers named Juan and Amal. I only carry a picture of one of them because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
@T_Bonezzz: Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: Know why I pulled u over C: Stop that M: Stop that C: Wanna go to jail? M: Wanna go to jail? C: No.. errr
@green_eyed_doll: Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.