@SadPeruna: If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
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@rockymomax: [bar] HER: wanna get outta here? *winks* ME: hell ya HER: whatya thinkin? ME: lets go to my place and arm wrestle HER: what? ME: u scared?
@aka_fatman: Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.
@Chelsea_Elle: Asked a Target employee if I could open this camera before I buy it and he said he wouldn't even care if I killed someone in front of him.