@SadPeruna: If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
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@JasonLastname: If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
@rationalists: Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen.
@walks_on_legs: Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents.