@MariyaAlexander: If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?
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@DaddyJew: Me: just cuz my resume is on a napkin doesn't mean it's not good Employer: there's a chicken nugget stuck to it Me: oh is there? *winks*
@EliTerry: I USED VOLUME MAXIMIZING SHAMPOO THIS MORNING SO YES I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE OFFICER
@Iwriteforcats: Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood.