@shkeeber: If dolphins are so smart, how come they're never on Jeopardy?
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@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me
@iwearaonesie: So important your wife knows you're petting the dog when she hears you say "you're getting a little chunky"
@joefrog1: If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.