@adamlucidi: If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back.
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@juneohara65: Me: "Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession." Priest: "You're off to a bad start."
@fuzzlime: I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm "approachable" & the upper class thinks I'm "eclectic"
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
@Book_Krazy: Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? "Sure"[click] Couple: How does it look? "I just got my hair done, so pretty good"