@TheHomieJesus: If Europe uses euros shouldn't Africa use Afros?
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@Brentweets: If you can't handle me at my worst that makes sense and I'm sorry for setting your house on fire.
@joryjohn: [Baby crying in a movie theater] Me: "What's his name?" Parent: "Ethan." Me: "The movie's starting, Ethan."
@david8hughes: Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on