@sameblacklist: If Eve sacrificed the whole human race for an apple, have you ever wondered what she would have done for a cucumber?
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@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
@AngelaEhh: This liquid diet crap is a scam. I've been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I'm still fat.
@bridger_w: I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that's what I get for dating a raccoon.