@Rockenden: If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no.
@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.
@Karate_Horse: [tense situation in the war room] "Ok now type in the nuke codes EXACTLY as I say them or it'll blow.1-4-7-teen" CRAP [huge explosion]
@PetrickSara: [Married Pillow Talk] Husband: Tell me what you want.. Me: I want you to take our kid to soccer practice tomorrow.