@VerifiedDrunk: If evolution were real you'd think my body would've learned how to be drunk on its own by now.
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@PlainTravis: Daenerys Targaryen is basically one of those people that thinks they're a parent because they have a dog.
@tastefactory: I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"