@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.
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@QwertyJones3: A girl called me "sir" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off.
@MyPornKhan: Ok, I'll admit it, my choice of words is sometimes influenced by which ones I think I can spell correctly.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how do you feel about traveling? Me: oh I dont know, I mean I just met you