@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.
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@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
@skullpuppy11: My neighbours probably think I'm getting laid, but these are just the sounds I make whenever I take my socks off.
@brian_bilston: There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi