@kimmie_1980: If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
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@KatieBurnett: Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago
@1evilidiot: It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people.
@bigmacher: #MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'
@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.