@kimmie_1980: If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
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@ermahgarton: me: what's ur favorite thing on the menu waiter: oh definitely the salmon me: oh yes ok i'll have the *orders something that is not salmon*
@tastefactory: Die Hard (1988):A cop stops terrorists in a building Therapist:Sounds cool but lets discuss how ur parents named u the title/year of a movie
@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
@mjohnny3: On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.