@RockabillyJay: If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer.
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@BreadFoster: I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.
@MyMomologue: Bedtime: Brush teeth Put on pjs Read Turn off light Put them back in bed Put them back in bed Threaten everything they love Put them back
@bornmiserable: "It's never too late to get the beach body you want," I say, pulling a fresh corpse out of the ocean