@jdforshort: If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?
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@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@WookieOnUnicorn: How do I feel about your goatee? I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that?
@SummerCandyEyes: My son asked me if mayonnaise was a mammal. *cashes in college fund *installs a pool in backyard