@Scdavis24: If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing.
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@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@ItalianBratikus: My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon.
@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
@daniel_shaw: I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.