@Scdavis24: If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing.
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@silent_musings: Next time you see someone you don't like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
@Kyle_Raney: DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed.
@TheMichaelRock: Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that.
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.