@serialmatrix: If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
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@Reverend_Scott: [dies and goes to Heaven] GOD: Hello, welcome to- ME: WHERE ARE ALL MY DOGS? GOD: Right this way.
@Marlebean: Don't make a mountain out of a molehill Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens ... I think my cough medicine expired
@ElgatoEsmio: [sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start