@serialmatrix: If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
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@dshack8: I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate.
@pleatedjeans: me: can I buy you a drink? girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?
@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.