@Thedudish: If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board.
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@travisauruss: MAN TO LIZARD: "SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN FLOORING SALES" LIZARD: "IM MORE IN PROMOTION" MAN: "WHAT DO YOU DO" LIZARD: "I REP TILE"
@Kalarlis: hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume
@RamblingMachine: My Mother asked me to suggest names for my brother's prospective children. I said I'll name the girl 'Denise' and the boy 'Denephew'.