@Thedudish: If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board.
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@TheMichaelRock: My boss said to "treat customers like you treat your mother", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails.
@ValeeGrrl: Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the "Grease" soundtrack.
@yoopnative: My 11 now wants to borrow clothes from my closet. Either she has great taste in clothing at an early age...or I dress like a tween.
@LuluLanternFish: Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like "oh, well look who it is" and I'd be like "it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"