@KngHnryVIII: If God had wanted us to drink in moderation he wouldn't have put wine in barrels. #inspiration
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@froghammer: Obamacare? More like "Obama? I don't care for that guy!!!" Honk if you want poor people to die
@jenlaw_11: How to kiss: 1-open your mouth 2-wider 3-wider 4-unhinge jaw 5-summon the Dark Overlord
@purplefuzzygirl: Men love when you kiss their neck.. Just not when they're driving And you're in the backseat. And they don't know you. Apparently.