If God hates gays so much, why didn't he put it in the ten commandments? Instead he's more pissed that you're jealous of your friend's PS4

@SteveSuckington: If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying, "hey, at least he died doing what he loved"

1

@RapDescendant: "THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME" - KANYE "THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND WEED" - WIZ "THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AT ALL" -B.O.B.

983

@ClassicMegan: Bahaha. Loving the support, maybe we'll get this handled.

1

@Dave_Philips: Me: Sit. Dog: (confused dog look) Me: Stay! Dog: (continues packing suitcase)

4

@patnspankme: This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer

1

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets