@VerifiedDrunk: If God wanted to impress me with his 'miracles' he would've impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day.
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@TheToddWilliams: ME: Is it true you can smell diseases? MY DOG: Yes ME: Well do I have any? MY DOG: Yes, you're insane ME: Wow you can smell that? MY DOG: No
@YourTumblrFeed: Psychic: reads my mind My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn…. We have bananis…… And avocadi