@LambyMcSheeps: if going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions
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@WilliamHale1: A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her vent and then they had sex afterward.
@hazelmotes1: Today I learned that pouring water on someone who is sleeping under an electric blanket won't electrocute them. It will only make them angry
@Leave_the_candy: i love the term “partners” are we dating? are we robbing a bank? do we run a legal firm? Who knows man
@AndyAsAdjective: "How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"