@LambyMcSheeps: if going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions
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@MarkTConard: Someone hash-tagged "share the love," and I read it as "shave the love." I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that.
@WhiskeySoured: Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. - watching the Olympics with my wife
@Sassafrantz: As a mom, I know nothing good happens after you hear one of your kids yell "JOHN CENA!!"
@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."