@GrandadJFreeman: If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.
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@AllyBallyBeal: Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more
@KeetPotato: me: "what is a librarian's favourite food?" dog: me: "SHUSHI lmao" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]
@DanDoofus: Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever wants to sacrifice a virgin about it.