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@GrandadJFreeman: If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [clown cleaning shower]
MRS CLOWN: Don't forget to remove the hair from the drain.
[clown just keeps pulling long multi-coloured hair out]
@joelu72: [writing my first autopsy report]
There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy
@GerryDuggan: Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more.
@burntmybagel: Twitter: something to read when people are talking to you.
@ieatanddrink: Commercial for elbows:
A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. "Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"