@comedianluke: If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon.
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@Playing_Dad: [Noah's Ark] Noah: How will the animals reproduce? God: You took a male & female, right? Noah: YOU SAID BRING 2 YOU DIDN'T SAY 1 OF EACH SEX
@kumailn: Doctor Who. He can travel to any planet during any period but mostly ends up in places that look like present day England.
@AmericanGent69: My 6 year old came into the bathroom while I was using it to tell me she hates it when the dog comes into the bathroom when she's using it.
@NicestHippo: I love killing for fun "Sociopath! Arrest him!" I mean I love hunting "Why didn't you say so my good man, want to kill together sometime?"
@2tickytacky: When someone yells "Fire!" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep
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