@comedianluke: If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: honey I'm home wife: how was your first night class well [hangs up suit of armor] not good
@sadhatterskwrl: To those folks who retweet my timeline and get my phone buzzing *thank you *I see you *I love you *we married now *it's too late *it's done
@Pork_Chop_Hair: When a kid is mean to my kid... (what I say): Let’s rise above their anger and show kindness (what I want to say): MY WRATH WILL SWEEP THEIR FAMILY TREE WITH THE VENGEANCE OF 1,000 SUNS
@twayne1010: A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
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