@naderdagher: If he pauses a video game to text you, he's probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
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@david8hughes: Wife: morning Me: good morning Wife: my parents are coming over for dinner tonight Me [pouring bleach in my coffee]: uh huh that's great
@tarashoe: please sir. i beg of you. don't take away my job. i've got a tuscan kitchen & 2 full baths at home. sir. sir please. my kitchen. it's tuscan
@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.