@beisswrandon: If he says "you're 1 in a million" it means he either has no knowledge of the world population or he thinks there are 7000 people like you
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@Quartzjixler: I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage.
@GrantTanaka: If it looks like a duck & swims like a duck & talks like an angry duck policeman, then you about to fail a sobriety test son
@Ygrene: [at the park] SON: dad dad what's that in the sky?! (points at helicopter) ME: (forgetting the word helicopter) that son is……a blenderplane