@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
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@VodkaDietSoda: The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
@sad_tree: [crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered
@rikpayne: Tweeting and grocery shopping don't mix. I've been down every aisle and just realized all I have in my cart is a cabbage and someone's baby.
@AnOrangeSNES: Odin is a king, Thor got his gender switched to a woman, Disney owns Marvel. So Thor is....A DISNEY PRINCESS KINDA!