@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
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@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: first name? ME: Mike I: last? M: Arbrokedown I: Mike Arbrokedown? M: no problem let's use mine I: *crumples test*
@Vodkantots: If your boyfriend doesn't buy you chocolates today, it's probably because he thinks you're fat.
@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.