@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
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@Elizasoul80: Him: I wonder if this dealership is open. Me: Are you stupid? The parking lot is full.
@matt___nelson: ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds
@CornOnTheGoblin: [kool-aid man catches son sneaking in and smells his breath] is that...hawaiian punch? "dad i can explain"