@Sanbel11: If he's a nice guy and treats you well, does it really matter what colour his Maserati is?
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@Mr_Kapowski: *guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup
@TheBoydP: My wife said she got a life insurance policy on me in case something tragic happened and I was like wow she thinks my death would be tragic!
@mattytalks: I booked a suite at a 5 star hotel and when my girlfriend arrived,on the bed spelled out in rose petals was "be right out,I'm taking a shit"