@Parker_Simpson: If Hillary wins in 2016, it's gonna be a huge year for shoulder pads
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@Michael1979: Bear tip: If a bear is mauling you to death, challenge it to a maths quiz instead (mauling people to death is against the rules in quizzes)
@deeeebag: I'm lost at Costco but everyone here looks like my dad. Just gonna pick the one with the best groceries and start a new life I guess.
@GuyEndoreKaiser: After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions.
@tehaveragejoel: "every family has that one huge weirdo" "NOT MY FAMILY!" I shout as I quickly exit the room, my six ducks on leashes in hot pursuit.