@Parker_Simpson: If Hillary wins in 2016, it's gonna be a huge year for shoulder pads
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@DevilryFun: Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow.
@kxthleen: other girls wearing low ponytails: smart, classy, professional, beautiful me wearing a low ponytail: will turner in pirates of the caribbean
@RxitWounds: *Sits straight up in bed* "THE CHILDREN" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*
@SardonicTart: Sometimes I'm scared I'll miss my kids when they move out but then I find a bowl of cereal in the bathtub tub and I'm not so scared anymore.