@heatherlou_: If his selfie doesn't make you kegal, you're just not that into him.
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@TheHyyyype: [ornithology test] PROFESSOR: name all the birds you know ME: personally? well there's willy the wren who hangs by my window, and crazy pigeon pete but i haven't seen him lately
@awordforaword: *men apologize for their weakness* *women apologize for their strength* *aliens probe neither*
@jwoodham: Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg, and some days you're the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.