@PajamaStew: If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating "Little did they know..." over and over and over.
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@SamuelMoen: When I die, my only wish is for my corpse to be respectfully catapulted onto a whitewater raft of people going down the Colorado river
@WilliamRodgers: What my Doctor said... "Sugar kills more people than Cocaine" What I heard... "The next time you're craving Cake...Do some blow instead"
@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
@Julian_Deane: Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.