@PajamaStew: If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating "Little did they know..." over and over and over.
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@jergarl: My 8yo blows up a balloon 37 times, then asks me to try and all I hear is "DADDY PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THIS RUBBER SACK OF MOIST WARM AIR"
@CovertAgentP: Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons.
@noogscorner: When she stops crying and gets really quiet, keep your guard up. You're experiencing what scientists refer to as "the eye of the shitstorm."