@PajamaStew: If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating "Little did they know..." over and over and over.
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@trevso_electric: The only way to make a cat like you is to cancel plans with them and ignore their text messages.
@truegritrumble: ME: Distinguished fellow, have you seen a monster in this Loch? LOCHNESS MONSTER (wearing a massive fake mustache): *monster noises*
@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming. GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills