@Xalqee: "If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, If I act like I'm asleep he'll leave, if I act like I'm asleep he'll leave" - Me getting pulled over
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@MJMcKean: Restaurant chain commercials should run the disclaimer "Actual food might not tumble and splash in slow motion".
@ch000ch: wondering if our openly racist uncles talk about their non racist uncles like "u shoulda heard the non-racist shit coming out of his mouth"
@Treememories: Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.